Heart

This is going to be a little different post for me because it is going to be a little personal. We give away a little of ourselves in everything we do, right, and say, but this is straight out. maybe someone else is in the same place>
About the beginning of December. I began to sense the Lord saying, "press in". Each time I did there was an immediate response - very unusual! Then it seemed for the next two weeks that he wasn't there at all. It was like living the passage in Song of Solomon where she is standing on the wall looking, but not seeing her beloved.
SS 5:6 I opened for my lover,
but my lover had left; he was gone.
My heart sank at his departure.
I looked for him but did not find him.
I called him but he did not answer.

SS 5:7 The watchmen found me
as they made their rounds in the city.
They beat me, they bruised me;
they took away my cloak,
those watchmen of the walls!

And, yes, during that time I seemed to be hypersensitive to the attacks of the World and enemies of Christ around me. The experience brought up anger in me that I thought was long gone. Call it dross driven to the surface by the refiners fire so that it can be removed. When it was flicked away I saw a heart revealed in the surface of the shiny new gold.
My walk had become too heady of late. I had a 12 inch problem I needed to get God out of my head and back into my heart where he belonged. Suddenly I began to notice heart and love in every word, sermon, and song.


SS 8:6 Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
like a mighty flame.

SS 8:7 Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot wash it away.
If one were to give
all the wealth of his house for love,
it would be utterly scorned.

I have never been a student of Psalms, but now is apparently the time. If David had a "heart after God's own heart" then there must be some nuggets waiting there for me. New testament reading will be John and John's Epistles.
I finish with the lyrics of a Bryan Duncan song:

A Heart Like Mine

Of all the hearts in the world
I've only one to give
So insecure, a desperate pulse
Racing to Your embrace
That You could want me and seek me
Is more than words could ever say
That You would love me and see in me
A pearl of price, thrown away

Chorus
A heart like mine
How could it be worthy that You'd find
A way to redeem this hardened clay
Twisted and broken
Oh Father God above
The wonder that You'd love a heart like mine

Your holy hands hold me still
Shaping my heart anew
Once vacant shell now reclaimed
Offers its praise to You
The one who searched till You found me
A wounded lamb whose gone astray
You stopped the world to recover me
Oh Lamb of God, the price You've paid

Repeat Chorus

I make my promise to
Do the one thing I can do with abandon
I can give every heartbeat to You